Off-Kilter & Out Of Whack

Off-kilter and out of whack. That’s how my schedule feels lately. Over the last two months while my calendar’s been chaotic, I sometimes feel chaotic too. But at the end of each day, it’s my calendar winning the award for the more scatterbrained between the two of us.

Fridays feel like Wednesdays, Wednesdays feel like Tuesdays, and Sundays feel like Mondays. It’s not like everything is shifted by a day or two. The shifts don’t have rhyme or reason, and they just don’t make much sense. So, it’s hard to keep track of which day is what.

I’ll get there. This is actually the first week in several that I feel like I’m riding on a merry-go-round instead of a tilt-a-whirl. And the merry-go-round feels like it’s spinning slowly. I think I’ll call that progress.

Things are leveling out. Backwards or forwards to some kind of balance where I can just stand still. I’m moving towards finding a comfortable routine again in the midst of chaos.

These messy seasons are necessary in my version of balance. I never stress too much about balancing in the short term. I’m content with days, weeks, and even months tilting one way or another. Some things require more time and attention one week (or month) than others.

This two month tilt-a-whirl ride? I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve spent more time with family and friends in the last two months than the entire year before them. We’ve gone to a wedding and we’ve gone out to eat. I’ve gotten to travel again for work for the first time in almost a year and a half. I’ve been on eight airplanes and slept in like a dozen beds that aren’t my own. 

But now I’d like a few weeks sleeping in my own bed with minimal company. I’d like to read a book on my front porch in the morning sunshine. And that’s exactly what’s on deck. Less changing time zones and less spinning. My suitcase is happily tucked away until August. 

I’m an introvert, and this last ride has required a lot of extroverting for me. Being extroverted drains me of more energy than a hard workout. And continuous extroversion makes me feel like I’m never resting or recovering. Often in the last two months I’ve slept super hard and still felt like I’m running on fumes.

This week though, I feel my energy stores refilling. It’s still a chaotic week in a lot of respects, but I get to keep the extroversion to a minimum. I get to run a little further and disconnect a little more frequently. I get to indulge in all my solitary activities, and I get to just quietly be.

It’s not for everyone. But, I’m excited to get back to my regularly scheduled introverting.