Independence Day
The Fourth of July has always been my favorite holiday. I love it because I love fireworks, the way a child loves Christmas because of the presents they receive. Beyond that, I enjoy the parades and a good local road race or a hot, humid run in the morning. I love that it’s a day spent with friends and family outside, with little obligations or expectations.
For me, it’s always been a day to celebrate summer and being together with people you enjoy. And also maybe sneaking a few beers into the park with you while you sit on your blanket, waiting for the fireworks to start. When the first explosion comes, I love how the boom shakes the ground. I love listening to the oohs and ahhh of the crowd.
This year, fireworks are on the long and growing list of all the things that have been cancelled. I expected to be sad when I realized that would be the case, but I wasn’t. Surprisingly, I am relieved there aren’t fireworks to go to this year. Even if there were, I don’t know if I would go because I don’t know how much I feel like celebrating.
I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. And I think in the future I’ll be able to enjoy the Fourth of July for all the reasons I always have. I think there’s a chance it could still be my favorite holiday; just not this year. The day our country became its own country will continue to be worth celebrating. But I can’t ignore that our Independence Day really only feels like a partial independence day this time around.
I have learned more about American history in the past month than any single month in my life. I can’t unsee the way certain things have shifted in my memories about my education or past experiences. There is so much I never learned or bothered to ask questions about along the way. As one small example, I now notice some of the reinforced stereotypes in movies and tv shows; I’m sure there are a lot I’m still missing. I’ve been observing, examining, dismantling.
My education led me to believe that the United States were founded on the ideology that all men are created equal. That we are a melting pot and everyone can find freedom in the United States. I think if I had spent more time thinking about it, I would have realized the holes in those statements much sooner. If I’d had to think about it, I would have paid more attention to the inconsistencies between these ideals and the country we live in today.
What I learned as history is also our current events. Orwell’s satire that all men are created equal, some are just more equal than others feels more relatable now than the first few times I read Animal Farm. I learned to see this in our past, but I’m still learning to see it in our present.
It doesn’t feel quite right to celebrate our freedom in the same way this year when it feels so unsettled, so incomplete. So, I’m sitting my favorite holiday out this weekend. I’m optimistic that I’ll be up for celebrating it next July. I’m optimistic that we are living in a moment of real change. I think I’ll be able to celebrate our independence when we are working towards a better version of freedom.
Most people use independence and freedom interchangeably, but I don’t know that I can ever see those concepts as the same anymore. We wouldn’t have both words if they meant exactly the same thing. Independence is the state of not being subject to another’s authority or jurisdiction. Freedom is exemption from external control, interference or regulation; the power to determine action without restraint.
For me, the Fourth of July will remain the day we celebrate our independence as our own country. But the day that will become the anniversary of our freedom is yet to happen. I hope it happens soon enough that I’m still around to sit on a blanket, an illicit beer in my hand, and feel the boom of those fireworks.
