The Baker’s Rack in the Attic

Every morning while I drink my coffee I write down a couple things that I want to accomplish for the day. It’s never a long list, just a handful of things that I want to prioritize. And because life is unpredictable, I usually have a few items each week that go unchecked one day only to be written down again another day.

Most of the time, whatever it is gets done that second day. Except this one thing that I had written down on my list nearly every day of October. It wasn’t even something hard. It was moving a shelf from the garage to the attic, then putting it back together. I brought the shelf inside a few weeks ago, but I never got around to rebuilding it until today.

I kept thinking that it would take me at least an hour of work in a cold attic. So, I couldn’t muster up the motivation to get it done. What started as assemble baker’s rack in attic morphed to definitely FINALLY assemble the baker’s rack in the attic. Written down day after day after day.

My last month of lists had some version of this one line at least two dozen times; never with a checkmark next to it. I think writing it down again this morning was what got me into the attic today. It’s no longer October, and I couldn’t imagine seeing it on my list again tomorrow. So I put on another layer and prepared to spend the better part of an hour chilled while working. I was done in less than 15 minutes.

Isn’t that how it always works though? The things you’ve been dreading doing are never as bad as you think they’ll be, once you finally just do them. Well, maybe not always. But definitely more often than not. Maybe when you let yourself dread something for long enough, you’ve imagined it way worse than what actually happens.

I wanted this shelf built in my attic. I just didn’t want to do the work required to put it together. But building the thing you don’t want to build is pretty much the only way you can effectively use whatever it is you want to use. The work is rarely glamorous, yet it’s always necessary.

It’s funny to think that I’ve probably spent more time writing myself notes that I need to put this shelf together than I actually spent building it. I spent nearly a month pushing something simple off because I just didn’t feel like it. But all along I knew that it was something I was going to have to do eventually. And waiting do to it did nothing but delay organizing my attic until today.

Delaying building a shelf is one thing. It was just an annoying item on my to-do list that didn’t go away until I finally made it a real priority. It postponed having a slightly cleaner house, but I don’t think it cost me more than that. Not the same way continually leaving other items on my list unchecked would. 

What if I only ran on days that I felt excited about going? I’d maybe only go a few days a week, and then over time probably not at all. Most of my enjoyment of running comes from the days when running feels like effortlessly flying. I have a lot more of those great running days because of all the times I consistently going out the door, even when I don’t feel like it. Actually, a lot of those great runs happen on days I dragged myself out the door.

Or what if I kept saying how I wanted to start writing again and continued to never pick up a pen? There are hundreds of thousands of words I wouldn’t have written down. And more than a year of progress towards things I’ve always wanted for myself. If I never picked up a pen, I’d still be an aspiring writer that never writes. Instead, I have a completed first draft to edit.

I rarely feel motivated to workout, or write, or do any of the things that matter to me. But I also know that leaving those boxes unchecked on my lists for more than a day or two would cost me more than I’m willing to pay. The discipline of knowing what it takes to be the person I want to be is always enough to stop me from whining. Or giving up when I’m not excited. I might not want to do the work for myself in the moment, but the me living tomorrow will always be happier it’s been done.

So I lace up my running shoes daily, pick up my pen often, and do my best to go to bed early every night. And when I think it’s ridiculous it took me so long to make time for something that took 15 minutes, I do my best to remember why I chose to make the time for all those other things instead. A messy attic is far easier to clean up than messy priorities.