An Optimist’s Perspective
I am an optimist. Most often a realistic optimist, but an optimist nonetheless. I’ve tried living differently from time to time, but I tend to never enjoy focusing on the downsides. Dwelling on what’s wrong or what’s missing has never suited me. I prefer to have hope. I choose to believe in possibilities.
Give anyone a long enough timeline and I believe every single person will let you down at one point, at least once. Some people will let you down more than others, and you get to choose if you keep holding them to higher standards or not. You have a choice in how many times you let someone let you down. When it comes to other people, you get to set your own expectations. You also get to change your expectations over time.
I choose to believe that very few people exist that would make decisions intentionally to hurt other people. Simply, I believe we don’t think about how each of our choices ripple beyond us while making any given decision. We tend to focus mostly on the information immediately available, only what we can see in the moment. It’s usually easiest to see only how a choice will effect us, right now. We are good at seeing only the short term result.
It isn’t good or bad, it’s just human. We each live in our own world, viewing the larger world only through our self-tinted glasses. We cannot experience life from someone else’s world. We can try though. We can try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes to help us think beyond our own perspective. We can try to give other people more space in our mind.
It’s not possible to fully understand something from someone else’s perspective. No matter how hard you try, you are still you. You will always bring your own experiences along when you try stepping into someone else’s shoes. But, I’ll always take the time to try. Knowing it will never be perfect, I’d still rather put on someone else’s shoes, their glasses and try experiencing life how they do. I’ll always choose trying to understand a world bigger than my own than never trying at all.
Human nature kicks in to help us on the big things. It’s easier to step into someone else’s shoes when it’s a major celebration or a major blow. It’s more comfortable to be compassionate then.
But I like to do it when it’s the little everyday stuff too. I’ll hold the door open, stepping aside for someone behind me because it’s something I enjoy happening for me. I pick up pieces of trash on the sidewalk and take care of the stray cart in a parking lot, hoping it makes someone else’s day a little easier.
In the little things with strangers, it’s not exactly trying to imagine what their whole life looks like. It’s more thinking, would I appreciate this if someone else did it for me? So, I smile at nearly everyone because I know a simple, pleasant acknowledgement from a stranger brightens my day. Sometimes people see my gestures, sometimes they don’t, but I don’t do it for recognition. I do it because I choose to believe being kind creates a more kindness.
If I can be kind, patient, and understanding with other people, hopefully that ripples to more people. How often have you held a door open for a stranger because a different stranger held a door open for you? Has a smile from a stranger ever made you smile, even after they’ve passed? I choose to believe our choices and actions shape more than our own little worlds.
Everyone is just trying to do the best they can. I’ve said this a lot lately to other people, and I believe it wholeheartedly. You could choose to see things differently than I do. You could choose to believe that people suck and they are trying to make your life harder. But when I think that way, I’m the only one that gets angry. So instead, I choose to believe that everyone is simply trying to do the best they can. I choose to believe being kind anyway matters more than I’ll ever know.
