Adapting To A New Season

It’s been over two years since I slid the little toggle to make this site public. For a few months, I wrote when I could, trying to figure out a schedule of posting that would work for me. So, now it’s been nearly two years since I said I would publish something every Tuesday.

Most of the time that still happens. But these past couple months I’ve pushed my deadline, publishing on Wednesdays or even Thursdays. Or this week, where my post is so late that I might as well consider it early for next. Most of the time I still post something. Is it late? Absolutely. Is it unpolished? Sometimes. Do I still feel proud when I press publish? Always.

The thing is, when I started this I didn’t have a lot of commitments on my time. It was the beginning of a pandemic. I got furloughed a few weeks into writing consistently again. After working at least fifty hours every week for a decade, I had a true summer vacation. Days, weeks stretched ahead with few outside commitments. For the first time in twenty summers.

But summer ends, life evolves. And I wouldn’t trade where my life is now for anything. It’s a full calendar these days, and that feels great during this season. Just like less was nice for its season too. My summer vacation was a beautiful gift. A gift that gave me a chance to shift, evolve, and prioritize different things moving forward. But also, a gift that I was definitely getting bored with as it was ending.

This new season is pretty remarkable. Maybe I don’t get to read as much as I’d like to every day, or run every mile that I want to. But I protect enough time for both, plus time for all the other things that fill me with life. I’ve lost parts of myself between other people’s priorities in the past, and I’m not worried about that happening again. My summer vacation helped shape me into someone stronger than that.

Whatever this season is, work is a big part of it. But this work is fun. It’s constantly filled with new challenges that push me and feel meaningful. I get to be a part of building something new, and something worthwhile. So, if that means some days I get to read for ten minutes instead of an hour, I’ll take that trade. And a three mile run on a day that I hoped to get in five is still lovely.

I’m adapting and adjusting. Maybe I’ll find a way to get back to consistently publishing every Tuesday again. Or maybe I’ll need to adjust my schedule for this busier season. I don’t know, but I’m figuring it out. Doing less than you’d hoped for still feels better than doing nothing at all. And moving slower than you’d like sometimes is just part of life. The trick is simply not setting down the things that are important to you. Maybe for a few days, fine. But never for so long that you lose those pieces of yourself.

So, what exactly is this new season? It feels a lot like spring. A budding and beginning of sorts. Filled with endless possibilities of seeing what’s been growing out of sight for a long time.